Monday, October 9, 2017

How a Happy Dog Would Solve Our National Crisis

I'm by no means and inspirational writer, a philosopher, or a theologian. I typically try to keep my writing light and unalienating.
But this is a short story long about so much more than a handsome dog, so please bear with me.

When Boone was a little guy, I gave him baths all the time. It was adorable and heart-breaking all at once; he would get scared and shake and press his head against me for "safety". I felt like the only one in the world who could cheer him up; I'd lift his tiny body out of the tub and towel him until he was dry, never minding the mess we left in our wake. These are some of my happiest memories and, undoubtedly, some of his worst.

But about three years ago (before Rosie joined our family), I decided for my safety and sanity that our bath times together had to stop. For those of you who don't know Boone, he's a *big* golden retriever. Bigger than most, he's a lean 75 pounds and nose-to-tail he's well over 5 feet long. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a skittish, slippery dog who's half my size could quickly escalate to a full blown disaster. And after a few close calls and a lot of frustration, we called it quits.

Since then, Boone has gotten a handful of groomer baths all the while demonstrating his mastery of second day year hair.

But today, Boone got himself into a *stinky* situation...one that even I couldn't ignore. By the time I realized what had happened, I had already resigned myself to the fact a big dog bath was in my near future.

As we entered my small bathroom, I was very surprised to see this dog step over the edge of the tub with minimal guidance. I was initially expecting a fight and for a minute, I regained a glimmer of hope that this one wouldn't be like the scary baths of years past. Then immediately, as the curtain closed behind us, his demeanor changed; unlike my little 15 pound puppy, he had a maturity that he previously lacked, almost a sense of obligation that his actions had led to this punishment. And despite his sense of duty, he was terrified.

It was at that moment, something unexpected happened. From the other side of the door...Rosie barked happily. It literally sounded like she was saying, "Hey guys, what are you doing!? Can I join?!" Her protective big brother, in his moment of weakness, didn't whimper or bark back. He relaxed. His mouth fell open to reveal that happy pink tongue and I swear I saw a little bit of a tail wag. The rest of his bath went quickly and without protest, like he recognized it would all be worth it because once it was over, he'd be back with his Rosie.

Now Rosie didn't know what she was missing out on, and frankly she didn't care. No matter what we were doing, she'd rather be with us than away from her little family.

Simultaneously, I'm not naΓ―ve enough to hypothesize why Boone relaxed. I've read multiple books on dog psychology and I feel the only thing I've learned is we still don't know enough. Nonetheless, I anthromorphized his reaction and started getting all the feels.

Maybe he was happy he was the one getting the bath, so his sister could be spared.

Maybe he was happy that he had a sister waiting for him when he got out of the bath.

Maybe he was happy he has a mom who can give him a bath or a house where he can retreat, so he doesn't smell like poo indefinitely...though even I recognize this one's a long shot.

He could've relaxed for any one of a thousand reasons, but the reason doesn't matter. He mustered all the courage he had and made the best of a bad situation.

How much can we learn about optimism from a dog in a bathtub? Or a dog on the wrong side of a door? And who's to say which side is the wrong side of a door?

In a world where people are literally gunning down civilians, leaders are criticizing victims of natural disaster for laziness, and people are overlooking a potential nuclear war because athletes are kneeling, there needs to be more positivity. The average man and woman needs to focus on the overwhelming good because we're continually pummeled by all the bad. And in the grand scheme of things, there's so so much more good than bad in the world.

We need to stop criticizing each other. We need to stop judging each other. We need to stop focusing on everything that's going wrong and start focusing on all the blessings we have. In that moment, Boone humanized my favorite Bible verse:

It came to pass.

Because no matter how bad our lives might feel when we only look at our current struggles, they don't last forever. What's more, there's always a figurative dog on the other side of the door who'd give anything to be where you are.
 
For the Christians in the crowd - or any one feeling a bit lost - I'm reminded of my favorite of Rob Bell's Nooma videos (link below). Well worth the watch if you want to learn to look at your struggles from a different perspective.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Jeepers, Creepers, and Ground Cover

Just a few short hours ago I was bragging about my fantastic yard though I managed to neglect one key bit of information: it takes all my energy and effort to even resemble a gardener. I'm not very savvy about how to care for plants nor do I have the motivation to do it regularly.

Despite that, the late summer and early fall weather has been calling me outdoors. The biting bugs have mostly subsided and the stinging bugs have been appropriately addressed (#savethebees #killtheyellowjackets). I can wear enough clothing to protect myself from poison ivy without being soaking wet in the first five minutes. I can even take a certain yellow dog outside without worrying he'll die of heat stroke. Fall is my favorite.

I completely ignored any and all yard work for the first year I lived here... turns out, I *may* have underestimated the amount of work that goes into cleaning up and maintaining a yard. Until about two months ago, the only thing I've accomplished was not raking the leaves last fall so now the lawn is dead...oops. Add a year of growth, weeds bigger than any intentional plant, and a hurricane to the mix and my yard is only suitable for the eyes of my dogs because - fun fact - dogs have pretty sad vision.




I think when the deer feel comfortable in your yard, you need to trim the bushes.

As it turns out, the previous owner had a thing for various ground cover, vines, and climbing plants. I kid you not, I've found no less than 5 different non-grass ground covers and have been keeping myself busy by ripping it all from the ground.

So literally, that's all I've been doing. Glorified weeding. I also have trees growing in my gutters and walnuts the size of tennis balls falling from the sky.

Kudos to those of you that can maintain a yard, but for me the less alive my yard is the better it looks. I can deal with grass and a handful of shrubs, but that's about it. My current goal is to minimize the plants that require any type of maintenance; if it isn't grass or it doesn't repel mosquitos it's just not worth my effort.

Soooo I'll just be over here, pulling ivy out as it tries to grow into my siding (another true story). Free beer to anyone who wants to come do it for me 😊

In the meantime, I'm just going to pretend I'm on the verge of discovering Brendan Fraser in a loin cloth anytime I'm out there.

 
A girl can dream. 

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The House Boone and Rosie Bought


Maybe The House Boone and Rosie Bought is a bit of a misnomer because - let's be real here - those adorable fuzzy faces are total free loaders.

The reason I give (undue) credit to my resident Goldens is because I noticed I fell victim to two total millennial home buying trends, one of which is completely dog-centric.

I guess we should back up for a moment while I climb on my soapbox to clear up one big misconception: yes, millennials are buying homes. Millennials represent approximately a third of total home buyers and about are two-thirds of first time home buyers are millennials. (Millennial buying trends are one of my favorite internet rabbit holes, but I won't bore you all with the details. It's not the point of this post.) Once again, my message to the non-millennial: we buy things. Not just Apple products, but houses, cars, furniture, stocks, and electronics that don't fit in our pockets.

Rant over. Back to happy things and home buying trends.

The two millennial home buying trends that I unintentionally bought into (wink wink) are:
  1. Buying a home in need of repair and...
  2. Buying a home for your dogs.
Now the reasons I bought a fixer is pretty straight forward. It has less to do with HGTV and more to do with seeing it as an investment. It was also the only way I could afford the type of home I wanted in the areas I was targeting. I'm relatively handy and even more patient so this seemed like a great course for me. And while buying a fixer is a trend among millennials, nothing there is really unique to millennials.

In many ways, millennials are oft considered very wise home buyers and owners. It's well documented that we are knowledgeable about markets, maintenance, resell, and improvements without the help of professionals (thanks Google), but we don't hesitate to contact realtors or contractors when truly necessary.

AKA: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor was the anti-millennial in terms of home ownership.

Again, millennials buying older homes is not the point of this post. The crazy, attention grabbing trend I want to talk about is millennials buying homes for their pets.

True story: millennials are not only buying houses for their dogs, but buying a home for a pet actually ranks higher than marriage and children as a motivator for buyers of my generation. Even buyers without dogs cite this reason based on their desire to adopt a pet in the future.

Ironically, I learned of this trend on a holiday that is only celebrated by pet-obsessed millennials: National Dog Day (August 26th if you're wondering). Since then, I've been thinking about it a lot. Every article on millennial buying trends seems to have the tone, "you'll never believe what those crazy kids are up to now."

There's no use denying it or feeling ashamed: I absolutely bought my house for my pets - even those darn cats. I know not a one of you would be surprised to learn I prioritize my pups that highly, but it's somewhat vindicating to know I'm not alone.

Candidly, there's so many reasons I shouldn't have bought when I did. The market was (and is) a seller's market. I was in a multiple offer situation. I had a divorce that wasn't finalized. I only had half the belonging I once owned which would have easily fit into a one bedroom apartment.

But for me, there were so many reasons why buying was the right choice. Not the least of which are the four little animals who I talk for in funny voices when I'm alone call my own.


For years, I had wanted a large backyard for Boone and Rosie, a place where they could run for hours after they've already worn me out.  So I bought a house where their dog friends can come play while my human friends have a cook-out or a bonfire.


I bought a house walking distance to two greenways, both of which connect to miles upon miles of other thread-trail greenways. If we wanted to, we could start walking and never stop.


I bought a house with a large laundry room so the cats could have their own dog-free space. And I bought a house with enough communal space for all my pets to cohabitate without driving anyone to insanity.

I also bought a house that could one day have children in it: one in a family-friendly neighborhood with good schools, and enough bedrooms/bathrooms to comfortable house a family of four. But I'd be lying to say that criteria out-ranked the dog-friendliness of the house. If nothing else, those were important criteria to ensure it's a good investment in the event some poor dog-free soul buys this house one day.

Why anyone buys a house is a personal, potentially dynamic, and multifaceted decision. Other generations have bought houses to be as close to golf courses, grocery stores, and interstates as humanly possible. I don't see anything wrong with buying a house for my pets and I don't think we should judge anyone based on if they bought a house because it's close to their job, artisanal coffee, or both.

Maybe it's because I'm an overly-accepting, snowflake of a millennial. Or maybe it's because buying for your pets (who are *bone-afide* family members) isn't crazy at all.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Progress, Progress, Progress

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! It's been a minute but I'm happy to say the kitchen looks *nothing* like it did last time I stopped in. The old cabinets, counters, and backsplash are gone ever since we demoed about...11 months ago? I've lost count.

But I know why you're *really* here, so let's start with a gratuitous Boone & Rosie pic from the middle of the remodel.

That white piece of metal sticking out of the trash bag went through my right foot a few minutes later.

Ooooh. Ahhhhh.

Now that that's out of the way, off we go.

It took about 3-4 weeks of living with more parts and pieces than I could count sitting in my breakfast nook, clogging up my everyday life before I finally decided to suck it up and pay a professional to install the cabinets.

...back in August. πŸ˜‚


I know, I know. I said I was DIYing this kitchen. But I still think we've done/are doing enough to keep the DIY label. It's just those cabinets...

My brother/amateur general contractor does *not* enjoy finishing work. And since he's giving me a great deal on his labor [read: free + beer], I'm trying to take his preferences into account. Plus, I still need him to like me when this is all said and done.

Installing cabinetry is not something he was looking forward too, especially since I made him install the laundry room cabinets at the Woodward Place just in time for me to sell it. He was clearly less than ecstatic when I asked him to help install a whole kitchen and asked me to get a professional quote...just for "comparison's sake." When that came back around $25/linear foot, or roughly $500 for my whole kitchen, I didn't have the heart to tell him no. After weighing the cost of purchasing any tools we would need, an allowance to purchase replacement parts for whatever we would inevitable break, and our sweet, sweet time, $500 seemed very reasonable.

My contractor - the one I hired, not my brother - asked for a blank canvas before he could begin work so we were responsible for clearing the old kitchen out and repairing the walls. I assembled the most rag-tag group of people and together, we knocked out the demo in about a day.


That's some very old, very yellowed drywall.



It is worth noting that I decided to match the footprint of my old kitchen so I wouldn't have to replace the floors right now. The tile is in pretty good shape and (despite being my neither my style nor on trend) it's neutral and free.


Not a lot to say here. Crow bar, crow bar, crow bar. Hammer, crack stuff, spackle. You get it. The only thing worth mentioning is I am now the tape and mud queen.

If you can't tell, this is my favorite picture I've ever taken 😏

I was so relieved to have the cabinets in, I decided to halt any and all progress for about a month. Because I can.


Eventually, I got my brother's attention again and we took a day cutting the butcherblock counters to size. I've been ogling butcherblock for a while and the price point (less than laminate) made it a no brainer. I settled on Karlby from Ikea. It wasn't really much of a thinker: nothing compared in terms of price, availability, or online tutorials.

Since we had no idea what we were doing anyway, I asked my brother to figure out 45 degree corners versus 90 degrees corners, which would have been much easier. Honestly, I'm so pleased I did; the angled corners look much more professional and seeing the individual pieces of wood form right angles makes me the neurotic kind of happy.

Everyone's favorite part of that day was that time we realized that when opened one of the drawers wouldn't clear the front of my new farmhouse sink so we had to move the whole peninsula out three inches. Then, because it was such a good day, we cracked said sink 😭

...yeah...

By the end of the day we were too tired/depressed to actually attach the counters to the cabinets. So for a few more months I lived with counters that slipped and slid all over my kitchen. They looked like they were attached (I'm the queen of laying things out *just so*)...but they weren't...

I probably would've gotten them attached sooner if it wasn't for one unexpected perk: whenever someone new would come over, they'd invariably lean on the counter, almost fall on their ass, then panic because they'd think they broke everything.


Once we got the counters attached, things seemed to pick up. Now we're at my favorite part of any project: the details. After the better part of a year without a kitchen, then without counters, then without stationery counters, I'm so excited that everything is properly installed that painting and staining look like a treat..

I decided to Waterlox my counters, though the color was a little too light for my taste. I took a few more months to apply several coats of stain prior to the Waterlox.

I'm not going to try and explain this whole process, because there are *a lot* of people who have done this process more successfully than me.  My two pieces of advice:
  1. If your counters are pre-oiled (like Ikea's), use a gel stain. No amount of sanding could make my counters absorb a reasonable amount of traditional brush on/wipe off stain.  
  2. Tape your corner seams. Getting the brush marks to match the wood grain is nearly impossible at a corner seam without it.  

I wish I could say that wasn't the end of this story and in some ways it isn't. But in the literal end-of-the-blog-post way, it toooootally is. Unfortunately, this is the very real world of cheap DIYs and lazy homeowners, so I'm just going to live with it as is for a while. I have made some more progress, slowly but surely, though I still have a to-do list a mile long. On it: re-install one cabinet over the refrigerator, add all the trim (that will cover where the floor tile ends under the cabinets), and give the cabinets a few more coats of paint. Yep, I'm like 99% certain that mermaid green is already on its way out. On top of that I still need to learn to tile a backsplash, add hardware, and install my light fixtures.

Maybe it will be all done by 2018...maybe not. #blognesty

Thursday, August 11, 2016

*the* Kitchen Remodel's Inspiration

As in, *the* kitchen I will live with forever. Mainly because I will be paying for it forever. Yes, I know that this is not only an economy makeover, but it will be paid off much sooner than forever. Still, I like to think of my pay-off date as similar to "infinity minus one."

That said, this place has to be freaking amazing.

As much as I like to wing it, you know I have a plan for this thing. Simply put, the plan is on-trend painted cabinets, butcherblock counters, a timeless backsplash, plus an apron front sink! To balance out all the new I'm planning on saving the existing tile floors...at least for now(#apennysaved). As far as the color of the cabinets, I'm planning on doing white uppers and colored lowers plus some open shelving.

If I'm being honest with myself, I know that you'd rather look at inspo pics before reading another word. So take it away, Pinterest:

 
 
 
 
 
So many of the details are still falling into place, but the goal is to create a kitchen that toes the line between trendy and classic. The colored cabinets are obviously the "soooo 2016" piece, but at the end of the day it's just paint. The backsplash, counters, sink, fixtures, and appliances are definitely some of the pieces I hope will last me at least another decade.
 
*fingers crossed*
 

Sunday, August 7, 2016

The Not-So-Planned Kitchen Remodel

In case you're not thoroughly turned on by the thought of glitter paint (So simple! So sexy!), we can move on to something more universally appealing. The single project I'm most excited to undertake - and you should be too - is my kitchen remodel! Originally I didn't even plan to touch anything more than the appliances and (maybe) the counters, but sometimes you lose battles with yourself.

At least I do.


Sorry, I never bothered to take pictures before turning it into a work zone.

THE THOUGHT PROCESSES:

Plan A: When looking at the house prior to making my offer I planned to repaint the cabinets (DIY) and get a new fridge. That'd run me about $2,000 because fridges are expensive. Oh well. If (and only if) I came in under budget, I'd consider changing the counters.

Plan B: During the inspection, I discovered how nasty the range was. No way I could cook my frozen pizzas in there. Plan B became Plan A + a new range. And if I'm getting a new range, I might as well get a new dishwasher and range vent because no point in having almost all new appliances. Now I'm guesstimating around $3,500. Beads of sweat roll down my forehead.

Then what had happened was the night after closing I come over to start some projects and help my roomie move in. The more I look at or thought about the kitchen, the more I just got generally skeeved out. As in, I didn't want to unpack my kitchen stuff or store food in this place.

[Repeat after me: you are not a princess, you are not a princess. You can live like this because you are not a princess.]

The cabinets were original to the house (built in 1978) and at some point were painted from a very dark wood to white. The insides were still dark and basically black holes. I had no idea what (or who) was living back there. The counters were actually floor tiles that were slightly sticky to the touch, no matter how hard you tried to clean them. Add poorly maintained grout to the equation and it became clear the counters were goners too.

I debated getting the cabinets professionally painted (inside and out, around $500 because no way I was DIYing the black holes). Then I imagined what all could go wrong as we removed the old counters, damaging my freshly painted cabinets possibly past the point of repair. I also considered what happens if I spent all that money and the old cabinets still grossed me out. Or what if I spent all that money just to want a full kitchen reno down the line. I hate being wasteful with my money more than I hate going over budget.

At this point, I was starting to accept the inevitability of a full kitchen overhaul as well as recognize the benefits.

Have a kitchen I love right from the get-go.

Be proud to host friends or family without having to tell them how much I hate the kitchen or how I plan to re-do it.

Not paying a ton of money to half-ass something.

My mind was made up, but now I had to figure out how to do this as economically as possibly. Remember, I only budgeted about $2,000-$2,500 to make the kitchen livable when I made my offer. Every penny over that hurt my heart.

THE SELECTION PROCESS:

I looked into Ikea kitchens, but was a little taken back by the costs. While still very economical as far as kitchen remodels go (about $3,500 for basic components in my layout) I was living in a constant state of sticker shock. On top of that, I'm not in love their new Sektion cabinets. Everyone else in blog-land may disagree with me on this so don't get me wrong, they look great. They just don't feel great.


The inside boxes are MDF either in white-white or espresso, neither of which really jived with my aesthetic. Several of the cabinet faces (including all the white/off-white styles) are made of a plastic feeling material so to get the feel of wood I'd have to go for one oak style available and finish them myself. My only other option was to get custom made fronts (like Semi Handmade), but that did nothing to help my bottom line.

On top of all that, Ikea cabinets just lacked the custom feel that I hoped for. Not "top of the line" custom, but "I'm the only person in the world with this kitchen" custom.

Rule number one of Reno-Club is you do not spend money on things you don't love.

Rule number two of Reno-Club is you DO NOT spend money on things you don't love.

THE RAY OF LIGHT:

Desperately exploring other options I stumbled across the stock cabinet section of Lowe's. My brother and I had previously used some of their stock cabinets in the laundry room of the Woodward Place and we were pretty happy with how they turned out.


Lowe's does have a new line of cabinets called Nimble (similar to Ikea's Sektion), but I knew I was going in a different direction. The classic oak unfinished cabinets have real wood fronts and feel much higher quality than Sektion or Nimble. I also had a Lowes coupon for 10% off and hit up their 4th of July sale for an extra 20% off stock cabinets. After everything, to buy all the kitchen cabinets I was looking right around $1,000. Sold.

So we'll call the final iteration Plan C. At this point, I'm planning on around $6,000 for a new kitchen, top to bottom. I'm thrilled with the value of everything I've chosen so far and it's way less than I ever anticipated being able to pull off a full kitchen remodel. Still, at the end of the day that's pretty heavy for an unanticipated cost.

The last pre-demo pic of the kitchen and a glimpse at the new cabbies.
 
Hopefully within a few weeks, I'll have a pretty new kitchen to prepare my Ramen and Hamburger Helper in. #poorpeoplefood #houserich...

Friday, August 5, 2016

Closet, Closet, Closet!!!

It seems fitting that the last project I shared at the Woodward Place was my Ikea closet makeover and the first I'm sharing here is a closet makeover (what can I say... I'm a girl). Here goes nothing...

I have a pink, glittery closet y'all.

I wish you could see the glitter in pics. Trust me, it's there.

 It's a very, very, very faint pink. You almost wouldn't notice it if it weren't for the glitter smacking you in the face. Barbie would approve.

I got pretty lucky that this closet had an existing system in it; it wasn't nearly as fancy as the Ikea closet I built last year but it was free...or umm... built into my mortgage. The problem with the closet before is it was straight up nasty. Brown paint, dirty brown carpet that needed to be stretched, a poorly patched hole in the ceiling, and a pad-lock on the door. I shit you not, I saw the lock on the door during our inspection and seriously debated pulling out of my contract. What are we trying to keep from coming out?

Boo.

A lot of the nastiness was helped when the carpet was replaced (along with all the bedrooms). After that, I just painted my little heart out. The bad lighting is yet to be addressed. Another big improvement was Clorox wiping the whole thing. If you're into insider trading, buy into Clorox now cause I'm sending that stock through the roof.

As much as I love it now, pale pink wasn't the original plan. I originally wanted to do Dalmatian spots all over my walls, per people on Pinterest with way more class and money for wallpaper than me.


Found a tutorial, tested it out. It was love at first sight.

Then I started applying it to my walls. And it was terrible.

 Pretty sure if I kept going, I'd need to lay down every time I came in.

After I finally got my eyes to focus, I realized it looked a Lisa Frank kindergarten art project. Or finger painting. I wanted to stop immediately, but my friends kept saying, "looks great" or "you'll like it when you're done." After resolving to try it over a larger area I was forced to admit I still hated it.

Disclaimer: if any part of you thinks the Dalmatian Spots were fabulous, I urge you not to try it at home. That business had to be sanded down and took about 6 coats of paint to cover. If you still love the trend (like I do), splurge on the wallpaper.

Back to my mental list of Things You Can Not Do When You Live with a Man and it didn't take long for me to settle on pink and glitter:


I was going for girly. I got Elle Woods.

One gallon of the lightest pink paint I could find that didn't look like it belonged in a nursery and two packs of paint crystals (one silver, one gold) and voila! The most spectacular sparkly closet I ever did see.

If you are considering using paint crystals in the future, I have two tips:
  1. The glitter is much more visible in rollered sections. Getting the edged-in trim to show glitter would have been a Dumbledore level magic trick. Role as much as possible. Seriously, don't underestimate the difference.
  2. You probably shouldn't mix in the paint crystals until your second coat. It's not a strategy that occurred to me until I was already all mixed up, but the second coat just painted over the first coat's crystal. It could have been doubly as sparkly if I hadn't split my crystals through a whole gallon and mixed them all into the final coat. You don't need a glittery primer, so why would you want a glittery first coat? Hind sight is 20/20.
Full Blognesty: No, I don't have an empty closet in my bedroom just waiting to be filled up. I still have miles to go (and a few trips to Ikea) when it comes to organizing my closet, both with how I arrange in-season pieces and how lesser used/out-of-season items are stored. This post is not a full blown reveal. So why am I sharing it now? Because I'm too freaking excited about it.

Here is the closet in it's current state.

I don't have nearly enough stuff to fill it.

In my defense the piles on the floor are out-of-season or the size-too-small piles, NOT laundry. I've been saying I'll organize it for weeks, but instead I think I'll go braid friendship bracelets for me and my closet.

Toodles!